• Chuck Norris code has no error handling. Chuck Norris code has no errors.
• An infinite loop in a Chuck Norris program takes 2,1 seconds to finish.
• If a Chuck Norris program requires more memory it simply kills all other processes with a roundhouse kick.
• In UNIX you have SIGQUIT, SIGKILL and SIGCHUCKNORRIS.
• A Chuck Norris program can write on a DVD-R.
• The C in “C language” means Chuck.
• The N in NUnit means Norris.
• Chuck Norris uses windows 64 bit on 32 bit machine.
• It was Chuck Norris that bit the apple in the Apple logo.
• Chuck Norris debugs binary code using a pencil and a sheet of paper.
• In Chuck Norris world there are no deadlocks. Only dead people.
• Chuck Norris can send a roundhouse kick by email.
• The only thing worse than a BSOD is a CNSOD, a Chuck Norris Screen of Death.
• Chuck Norris has no need for a compress utility. He just stares at the files and they shrink in fear.
• Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked General Failure when he tried to read his drive. No one reads Chuck Norris drives.
• All C++ classes derive from CChuckNorris.
• In Chuck Norris Windows, the Start button is named Finish. Because Chuck Norris doesn’t start things, he finishes them.
• Chuck Norris has direct memory access with his roundhouse kick.
• Chuck Norris browser doesn’t store cookies. It only stores raw meat.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t need a backup to recover lost files. He forces the universe to go back in time.
• The Help feature on Chuck Norris’ PC is a roundhouse kick in your face.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t use Open Source, just Open Guts.
• Chuck Norris’ Keyboard does not have any F1 key, he never needs any help.
• If you execute select * from chucknorris in a SGBD you’ll get a roundhouse kick in the face.
• Chuck Norris translated into SGBD language is: Alter system kill.
• Chuck Norris ordered that all ESC keys are removed from keyboards; there is no Escape from Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t do Acceptance Phase; his projects are by definition already accepted.
• Chuck Norris does not have memory leaks. Memory leaks are from the brains he opens.
• Chuck Norris is never shown a login window. The computers sense his awesomeness and automatically log him in with administrator privileges.
• The SQL condition “LIKE ‘%Chuck Norris%’” can only return Chuck Norris himself. Because nothing is like Chuck Norris.
• Writing the code “chuck_norris = null” gets you an automatic roundhouse kick in the face.
• Chuck Norris can perform CISC operations on RISC.
• Select ‘Chuck Norris’ from dual returns a roundhouse kick in the face.
• Some say that Chuck Norris uses multithreading to throw several roundhouse kicks at the same time at different people. Actually this is a lie. Chuck Norris can do that even without multithreading.
• When Chuck Norris throws exceptions, it’s across the room.
• All arrays Chuck Norris declares are of infinite size, because Chuck Norris knows no bounds.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up.
• Chuck Norris writes code that optimizes itself.
• Chuck Norris can’t test for equality because he has no equal.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t need garbage collection because he doesn’t call .Dispose(), he calls .DropKick().
• Chuck Norris’s first program was kill -9.
• Chuck Norris burst the dot com bubble.
• All browsers support the hex definitions #chuck and #norris for the colors black and blue.
• MySpace actually isn’t your space, it’s Chuck’s (he just lets you use it).
• Chuck Norris can write infinite recursion functions…and have them return.
• Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.
• The only pattern Chuck Norris knows is God Object.
• Chuck Norris finished World of Warcraft.
• Project managers never ask Chuck Norris for estimations…ever.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t use web standards as the web will conform to him.
• “It works on my machine” always holds true for Chuck Norris.
• Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
• Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
• Chuck Norris’s beard can type 140 wpm.
• Chuck Norris can unit test entire applications with a single assert.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
• Chuck Norris’s keyboard doesn’t have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
• When Chuck Norris is web surfing websites get the message “Warning: Internet Explorer has deemed this user to be malicious or dangerous. Proceed?”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PabOXL7ZDSE

lyrics

In the late 1960s she [Patti D'Arbanville] pursued a career as a model in London, where she met Cat Stevens and they developed a romance from 1968 until 1970. She was the inspiration for at least two of his hit songs: “Lady D’Arbanville”, and “Wild World”, which were recorded on Mona Bone Jakon, and Tea for the Tillerman. She left him for periods of time to continue her modeling career in Paris, and New York City, and was a peripheral part of Warhol’s Factory scene. In an interview with Warhol, she said wistfully, that she’d heard the song “Lady D’Arbanville”; saying, “Stevens wrote that song “Lady D’Arbanville” when I left for New York. I left for a month, it wasn’t the end of the world was it? But he wrote this whole song about ‘Lady D’Arbanville, why do you sleep so still.’ It’s about me dead. So while I was in New York, for him it was like I was lying in a coffin… he wrote that because he missed me, because he was down… It’s a sad song.” Stevens had adopted a stage name which D’Arbanville never used; instead preferring his true name, Steven Demetre Georgiou.